Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room; well I'm here with you...

Here is the main reason why I don't agree with the intentional fallacy:

People can get a little wrapped up in the "meaning" of certain names and relate the significance of said name to the character in a piece of fiction. However, say I write something and I literally chose the names by typing "boy names" into google, clicking a random page, closing my eyes, and then pointing. How on earth can the name of this character have any bearing on literary analysis?

While we're on the topic of Garden State, I would just like to post about something I'm not sure I've blogged about before. Certainly, I've told people about this but just for the record...

You know the scene in Garden State where Andrew Largeman tells Sam that he likes her and she asks him if he wants to see her tap dance? Those 45 seconds are among the greatest ever created on film.

Just as a precursor to this post, I would like to say that I just saw Garden State for the first time in two years or so. I don't know what it was; I just woke up this morning with a hankering for what I still consider to be one of the greatest films ever made. It really is very good and it occurred to me, while I was watching it, that this is would have been the "answer" to a question that one of my colleagues asked me last week. One of them was challenging me to tell them why I can't see myself in Fort McMurray for very long and I said, "I have friends in Ontario," to which he replied something like, "You have friends here!" I think the appropriate response to that should have been, "Yeah, but not the kind that would appreciate Garden State."

At any rate, I wanted to post about the idea of "Non-Negotiables." Last year, during prac, Courtney designed a social studies lesson about the negotiables and non-negotiables; the idea being (if I recall correctly) that in order to know who you are and what you want in life, it helps if you make a list of things you must have/experience that will help guide you. Or something of the sort. For example, your list of non-negotiables might look something like this:

1. I want to travel.
2. I want to start my own business.
3. I want to have one day a week where I don't have to do any work.
4. I want to have at least 6 months worth of salary in my bank account at all times.
5. I want to exercise 3 times a week and I want to eat out once a week.
6. I want to read two books every month.

And so on and so forth. The idea is that if you have this list, you will be better able to realize whether or not you're making the appropriate life choices that will either help you achieve these goals or at the very least, not get in the way of them. Of course, as time goes by, your list of non-negotiables will change and maybe you'll realize that something you considered important maybe isn't as non-negotiable as you thought. Courtney mentioned that a list like this might also be particularly handy for teenagers as they navigate the treacherous waters of young relationships. It's a useful kind of thing to have since first-loves/infatuations will undoubtedly make you feel like you're willing to give up some of your non-negotiables in order to be with some heinous douchebag. Furthermore, the idea of having a list of non-negotiables is that you can realize when you've got a real relationship that's worth holding onto; one that won't force you to sacrifice your non-negotiables; one where your partner will understand that you have such a list and you are both willing to work together to accommodate the things you consider important.

That's the idea. And I think it's a particularly effective idea for most people in high school and university. Even some (young) adults could do well to create a list like this. That being said, I think that as we grow up and start to understand and appreciate the idea and importance of love, it can become a moot point for some people. Not all people... but some people.

Recently, I saw the film, It's Kind of a Funny Story. In a nutshell, a 16-year-old boy, who's attending a prep school, checks himself into a hospital on account of depression and suicidal thoughts. As I watched this film, I realized that I related quite strongly to the fact this kid came from a good family, got good grades, and had talents in music and art. The idea seemed to be that you don't have to have a horrible life to be "allowed" to experience depression. It can come from simply not knowing what you want in life or the feeling of being alone. And while creating a list of non-negotiables can definitely help with the former, it doesn't really do much for the latter.

As we grow up, I think some of us realize that the choices we make with what we do with our lives doesn't matter as much as having someone to share that life with. That's not to say that we don't still have a list of things that are important to us, it's just that perhaps they're not as non-negotiable as we may think or at the very least, they are only things that we are capable of fully wanting or appreciating when we are in healthy, caring relationships.

In the final scene in It's Kind of a Funny Story, Craig checks out of the hospital and begins a montage with this speech:

Okay, I know you're thinking, "What is this? Kid spends a few days in the hospital and all his problems are cured?" But I'm not. I know I'm not. I can tell this is just the beginning. I still need to face my homework, my school, my friends. My dad. But the difference between today and last Saturday is that for the first time in a while, I can look forward to the things I want to do in my life...

Bike, eat, drink, talk. Ride the subway, read, read maps. Make maps, make art. Finish the Gates application. Tell my dad not to stress about it. Hug my mom. Kiss my little sister. Kiss my dad. Make out with Noelle. Make out with her more. Take her on a picnic. See a movie with her. See a movie with Aaron. Heck, see a movie with Nia. Have a party. Tell people my story. Volunteer at 3 North. Help people like Bobby. Like Muqtada. Like me. Draw more. Draw a person. Draw a naked person. Draw Noelle naked. Run, travel, swim, skip. Yeah, I know it's lame, but, whatever. Skip anyway. Breathe... Live.

Noelle is the girl he met in the psych ward. And I think it's no coincidence that he feels a sense of possibility in his life after he's met her. In a way, that's what I envision my list of non-negotiables to be like if I ever tried to make one. Of course, I could make a giant of list of things in my life that I consider important. However, it'd probably just turn into an exercise of writing down a list of things that I like, because at the end of the day, if I were to truly follow the spirit of the list, it would look something like this:

1. Find Love

Everything else is negotiable.

I would like to propose an idea. Having done a middling amount of traveling in my time, I have stayed in my fair share of hotels. Historically, my family has tended to hover around the 3-star range of hotels when we've traveled or gone on vacations to places not named Singapore and/or Malaysia. I can remember a few select occasions (no more than thrice, by my memory) where my parents decided, for some arbitrary reason, to up the ante and stay at a 4-star hotel. This got me thinking...

I have never been in a 5-star hotel (and I probably won't ever) but the differences between a 3 and 4 star hotel are quite noticeable. That just got me thinking: has anyone ever considered going on vacation TO a hotel? Consider, for a minute, diverting the money you would use from gallivanting/romping, and putting it into, say a 4-day stay at a 4-star hotel. Consider it less of a sight-seeing vacation and more of a detox vacation.

There is undoubtedly a difference between lazing around at home and lazing around a hotel. When you laze around at home, you feel like a slob because there are always things to do. So I propose a short, 4-day vacation to a nice hotel, with waterfalls, a swimming pool, maybe a nice restaurant and a bar in the lobby. Maybe go with a friend or a loved one - leave the internet at home and keep your phone in case of emergencies but otherwise, don't use it.

What would you do? Well, the point is that you're not supposed to do very much. But between meals, maybe go for a swim, read a book, enjoy the ambiance. Have some wine at the bar in the evening, take a long bath and do the crossword with the TV playing in the background. Write a short story; get some of your novel finished. Maybe have a really good conversation with your friend/loved one.

I just find it a little odd, especially when you get into the realm of 4-star hotels and up, that people spend so little time in them when the hotel itself seems to be a great place. Seriously, it's one of the things on my bucket list.